14-08-2007, 07:11 PM
REED NOW!
This is an old and my first story that I posted on Acanthite a long time ago. Right now I'm completely redoing the whole thing, but keeping the main elements as it was kinda stupid the first time round. I just want to post the prologue and 4 chapters so you can compare it to the remade version. As you can see, I got really stuck on the end of chapter 4 :rolleyes:. Here goes.
-----------------------------------------------
Shadows. Created when something or someone blocks the light of the sun. Then the shape of the thing is cast on a surface, like a wall or on the floor. Most people think shadows aren’t helpful. And that’s where they’re wrong. We need them for shade, shelter. If there were none, we’d be dying in the heat. Trees and houses have shade. Everything does. We use their shade to shelter from the heat, like animals.
We can also tell the time with shadows, using sundials. Even though we don’t use sundials any more, they were very handy for the people a long time ago. We usually just use them as decorations for our gardens now.
Another thing you can use them for. You can change into them. I don’t know if anyone else can change into shadows, but I only know one thing: I can. I suppose everyone has to be good at something. But mine is different. I’ve never told anyone… or have I? You’ll have to read on to know. But don’t tell anybody, or I’ll find out, turn into a shadow and creep up behind you!
Enough about shadows. My name’s Shane. Sha for short. It’s been the name my friends called me since I was nine. My parents, teachers, relations, they all call me by my full name. But my brother, Dave, calls me Sha. He’s good fun, but he can be really annoying sometimes. He’s four years older than me, but still acts like a two year old. Mum and Dad are cool, but never stop complaining. Mum’s name is Emily and Dad’s, Stanley (or Stan).
I have a few friends. They’re Mikey Meredith, Nicole West, Brendan West, Noah Johnson and Cho Addams. Everyone calls Noah Tyrant, because he’s always moody and thinks he’s strong! He doesn’t like it, but we keep calling him it to annoy him. Mikey is my best friend. Brendan and Nicole are brother and sister. They don’t get on very well and they’re always fighting.
Now, you’re probably wondering what this is all about. Well, you’ll find out as you read on. There’ll be some sad, weird, cool and funny moment. Now, it’s time to begin. I’m going to start it off exactly where it all began…
--------------------------------
“Damn!” I roar as Cho scores another goal on me. I’m terrible in goals, especially at soccer. I want to get out of goals, but I’m the only one who can go in. No one else volunteered to go in, so I had no choice.
I’m at Cho’s house, preparing for the forthcoming match next Monday for the school team. I have to practise my goalie skills. Brendan, Noah and Mikey are here too. Nicole hates soccer and isn’t on the school team. All the better! She’s brutal at soccer.
Cho is the best on the whole team. Brendan is slightly better than Noah and Mikey is better than Brendan.
“Just concentrate!” Cho insists. He doesn’t want me to be the goalkeeper. No one does! I’ve been practicing for weeks without any luck.
“Heads!” shouts Mikey as he whams the ball towards Cho’s head. Cho ducks immediately, the ball just millimetres from his face.
“Crap!” laughs Noah. “So close!”
Noah takes a shot, but he bends the ball into the field opposite Cho’s house. No one ever goes in there. There lies the biggest bull you have ever seen. It’s ten times bigger than any other normal bull. I’ve never went in their before; I’m too scared.
“Well done!” says Brendan sarcastically.
Noah has a very bad temper, so I don’t say anything.
Cho runs towards the field. He doesn’t let the bull see him. The wire around the field is electric, so Cho takes the secret entrance. The secret entrance is a hole under the wire, where a small person can fit through. The bull is way too big to go under it! I think Cho’s dog made it.
Cho crawls under the wire very slowly, carefully and quietly. He’s used to doing it and never got shocked before. The ball is far away from the bull, but it could still spot Cho and charge.
Cho creeps towards the ball. He reaches out his hand and…
The bull sees him. His eyes bulge. Cho grabs the ball, dashes towards the fence as fast as he can, jumps, hits the ground and slides under the wire, covered in mud.
“Come and get me now, ugly!” Cho roars. He laughs and kicks the ball to us from where he is. He rushes back to us, sweating.
“Not bad”, I say, impressed.
“Goals”, he tells me.
I run towards the goals and get ready for a bashing. Noah tackles Cho, but Cho simply stands there, acting as if Noah wasn’t there. He whams the ball into the left-corner bar. I jump, wishing not to miss this. I manage to -just about- save it, with the tips of my fingers.
Cho curses, and runs back down the pitch. I smile. It was ages since I’ve saved a goal by Cho. I kick the ball down. Brendan gets it this time. He passes it to Noah. Mikey tries to tackle Noah, but he fails. Brendan and Noah are on the same team. Cho and Mikey on the other, both teams scoring on me.
Noah sprints towards me, sure he’ll get a goal.
“Come on, Tyrant,” I giggle.
Anger sets in his eyes, like fire. Cho tries to tackle Noah, but Noah just jumps over his feet.
I prepare to save this, no matter what it takes. Noah gets ready to kick the ball… I jump left, because that looks like where he’s trying to score. I hit the ground with a thud. Noah hadn’t kicked the ball at all; he was just pretending. He laughs. This time he really kicks it, and I’m too late.
“Woo!” roars Noah, rejoicing.
“Big deal”, I sigh, “A monkey could save that. I was just unlucky”
“Any monkey is better than you” he retorts.
I sigh, not knowing what to say. He is right, though. I kick the ball down the pitch again. Mikey gets it this time. He runs as fast as he can. He avoids Brendan. Noah tackles him and gets the ball, taking a shot and missing.
“I’ll take this corner”, says Mikey. He puts the ball in the corner and takes it. It curls and it hits the crossbar.
“Damn”, he grumbles.
Cho gets the ball this time, but Brendan tries to tackle him, so he kicks it to Mikey. I didn’t suspect this, so I wasn’t ready to save anything. He scores and runs down the pitch with his shirt over his head.
“Good goal” says Cho. Mikey grins.
“You have to pay attention, Sha”, Cho says for about the millionth time today.
It’s now six-three to Cho’s team. Brendan starts to say something, but his phone suddenly starts to ring. He takes it out of his pocket, and flips it up. He rolls his eyes.
“Who is it?” asks Noah, knowing that he won’t tell him.
“…What? Yeah, right! Let me see it first. Will I ask the others to come over or will I save you the embarrassment? Right, I’m coming over.” He hangs up, and puts the phone back into his pocket.
“Who was it?” repeats Noah, impatient.
“Fine. It was Nicole. She…” he stops, wondering what to say next. “She got As in every one of her tests. I don’t believe her, as dumb as she is. But I want to see if she’s telling the truth.”
He starts to leave, but Cho stops him. “C’mon! Don’t go! Just wait ‘til the game’s over!”
Brendan shakes his head. “No. We’d win anyway”, he grins. Noah snorts with disgust.
“Nicole said mom wants me home anyway, before it’s dark.”
Cho sighs. “Fine. But remember to…”
“…Practice, practice, practice!” imitates Brendan. He starts the short walk home. All of are houses are near each other, which is handy. We nearly go over to each other’s houses every day.
“What was all that about?” I ask, confused. Everyone shrugs. It was obvious that he was lying. There’s something fishy going on here…
Cho is playing the other two on his own now. He scores one last goal, and then gives up.
“I win, seven-three”, says Cho, “C’mon let’s go in.”
We all agree with that and go inside to watch TV. We’re all mad about TV. Without it, we’d simple die!
I start to wonder if Brendan was really talking to Nicole. I forget about it, and focus on the programme on TV, Pimp My Ride, my favourite show.
Mrs Addams, Cho’s Mom, comes in and offers us some cranberry juice and sweets. I turn down the cranberry juice; it makes me sick, even if I think about it. That’s the only thing she drinks, I don’t know how she never gets sick of it. But I take the sweets; I can never turn those down!
I always used to call Cho’s family the Addams Family when I was small. Well, they are a family and their surname is Addams!
After Pimp My Ride, Noah and Mikey leave. I decide to go too.
“See you tomorrow”, I say to Cho.
“I’m bringing Noah and Mikey home in my car. I’ll bring you now, too.” says Mrs Addams.
“OK”
I open the front door. It’s freezing. I shiver, breathing into my cupped hands. I hop in Mrs Addams old, rusty car, along with Noah and Mikey.
“It’s freezing!” I say to Mikey and Noah. They nod.
Mrs Addams comes out after five minutes.
“Goodness, it’s chilly out tonight.”
She starts the car. It bangs a few times and then starts. This car is as slow as hell! It seems like an age until we reach Noah’s house. Then we drop off Mikey, and finally me.
“Thanks”, I say to Mrs Addams and get out of the car.
“See you later”, she says, and I close the door.
It’s still freezing. I run to the front door. I turn the handle, but it’s locked. I begin to knock until I see a note, right in front of my nose. I pull it off.
‘We’re just going out for a drink. Dave’s gone with Paula. We’ll be back soon, so don’t stay up too late. And don’t forget to let Ben out for a while.
Mom.’
So Mum, Dad and Dave are out of the house. Excellent! I’ve got the house to myself – for a few hours. Paula is Dave’s girlfriend. She goes out with him every night. She’s always at our house too. Ben is our mad little dog.
I locate the key under the mat. I open the door and enter the house.
It’s even colder in here. My teeth start chattering. I check the radiators. They’re all off, so I switch them on. After ten minutes, it’s still freezing. I feel one of the radiators. It’s piping hot. Weird. I forget about that and go into the kitchen.
Ben is lying on his tiny doggy-bed, beside the back door. It’s in pieces. He loves to chew things. It didn’t take long until his new bed was in bits. He jumps on top of me, nearly knocking me over. I laugh. He usually jumps up on people because he’s excited, but this time it’s not because he’s excited. It’s because he’s afraid.
“What’s wrong?”
He turns to the back door and starts growling.
“Is someone outside?” I say, wondering what’s wrong with him.
He responds by growling even louder. I open the door, look left and right. Nothing. Suddenly, Ben runs off, barking, searching.
He looks in between the trees, under the tables, in the garage. He can’t find whatever he’s looking for. I call him, but he keeps on searching. I stop. I can hear a sound. It’s screechy. That’s what Ben was barking at. I decide to try and help him look for the source of the sound, too.
I look everywhere. In the ditch, under the trees, under the tables, in the garage. No luck.
I go around the back of the garage. The noise gets louder. I keep on walking, the noise getting louder and louder. Then it starts to die away. I must’ve past it out. I step back a bit. This is the loudest it can get, so I must be standing over the thing. I call Ben over. He does what I command. He starts barking and growling frantically. Suddenly, he digs his claws into the ground and starts burying. I just sit down and watch him.
After a minute, there’s a tiny ray of light shining from the earth in the small hole that Ben’s made. I’m puzzled, so I start digging too. I check my watch. 11.20… the noise is getting louder. 11.23… the light is getting brighter. 11.25… the light is getting much brighter and the noise is getting really loud. 11.29… The hole is big enough for me to fit in. I try not to think of Mom and Dad’s faces when they see this hole!
The noise nearly deafens me. It’s sub-zero now. I try to stop my teeth chattering, but it’s no use. I give the ground one last dig.
The thing is revealed. I’m stunned with what I see… some sort of diamond. But no diamond of this world. It’s black, but it still lets off a blinding light. I cover my eyes with my hands and peak through. It’s small and could just about fit in my palm. But should I touch it? I really don’t know what to do. It could be dangerous.
Ben has gone mad barking at it.
“Shut up”, I snap at him. No use.
I look at the diamond again. It must cost a fortune! But since when could you find diamonds in a country like this? I sense evil in it…
I’ve decided what I’m going to do. I’m gonna pick it up. I don’t care what happens. I must pick it up. If I don’t, I’ll die.
I reach my arm towards it… touch it. It starts shining even brighter. The noise stops.
“Phew!” That was easy! No harm done.
The light has stopped. I take the diamond up in my hand and examine it. All of a sudden, it starts screeching much worse than before. It’s even worse than when you scrape your nails on the blackboard. A thousand times worse.
I hold it even tighter, hoping it’ll stop the noise.
A searing pain in every part of my body. Like needles shooting at me from every corner. I try to yell, but I’m too weak to.
I feel a chill run down my spine. I freeze, unable to move. Either the noise of the diamond has stopped or I’ve gone deaf. My eyes are closed. I can’t open them. Either the shine of the diamond or I’m blind. My mouth can’t open. And I can’t breathe through my nose either. So how am I supposed to breathe? Am I going to die?! I knew I shouldn’t have picked up that diamond! I… black out.
This is an old and my first story that I posted on Acanthite a long time ago. Right now I'm completely redoing the whole thing, but keeping the main elements as it was kinda stupid the first time round. I just want to post the prologue and 4 chapters so you can compare it to the remade version. As you can see, I got really stuck on the end of chapter 4 :rolleyes:. Here goes.
-----------------------------------------------
~ Prologue ~
Shadows. Created when something or someone blocks the light of the sun. Then the shape of the thing is cast on a surface, like a wall or on the floor. Most people think shadows aren’t helpful. And that’s where they’re wrong. We need them for shade, shelter. If there were none, we’d be dying in the heat. Trees and houses have shade. Everything does. We use their shade to shelter from the heat, like animals.
We can also tell the time with shadows, using sundials. Even though we don’t use sundials any more, they were very handy for the people a long time ago. We usually just use them as decorations for our gardens now.
Another thing you can use them for. You can change into them. I don’t know if anyone else can change into shadows, but I only know one thing: I can. I suppose everyone has to be good at something. But mine is different. I’ve never told anyone… or have I? You’ll have to read on to know. But don’t tell anybody, or I’ll find out, turn into a shadow and creep up behind you!
Enough about shadows. My name’s Shane. Sha for short. It’s been the name my friends called me since I was nine. My parents, teachers, relations, they all call me by my full name. But my brother, Dave, calls me Sha. He’s good fun, but he can be really annoying sometimes. He’s four years older than me, but still acts like a two year old. Mum and Dad are cool, but never stop complaining. Mum’s name is Emily and Dad’s, Stanley (or Stan).
I have a few friends. They’re Mikey Meredith, Nicole West, Brendan West, Noah Johnson and Cho Addams. Everyone calls Noah Tyrant, because he’s always moody and thinks he’s strong! He doesn’t like it, but we keep calling him it to annoy him. Mikey is my best friend. Brendan and Nicole are brother and sister. They don’t get on very well and they’re always fighting.
Now, you’re probably wondering what this is all about. Well, you’ll find out as you read on. There’ll be some sad, weird, cool and funny moment. Now, it’s time to begin. I’m going to start it off exactly where it all began…
--------------------------------
~ Chapter One ~
Diamond Days
“Damn!” I roar as Cho scores another goal on me. I’m terrible in goals, especially at soccer. I want to get out of goals, but I’m the only one who can go in. No one else volunteered to go in, so I had no choice.
I’m at Cho’s house, preparing for the forthcoming match next Monday for the school team. I have to practise my goalie skills. Brendan, Noah and Mikey are here too. Nicole hates soccer and isn’t on the school team. All the better! She’s brutal at soccer.
Cho is the best on the whole team. Brendan is slightly better than Noah and Mikey is better than Brendan.
“Just concentrate!” Cho insists. He doesn’t want me to be the goalkeeper. No one does! I’ve been practicing for weeks without any luck.
“Heads!” shouts Mikey as he whams the ball towards Cho’s head. Cho ducks immediately, the ball just millimetres from his face.
“Crap!” laughs Noah. “So close!”
Noah takes a shot, but he bends the ball into the field opposite Cho’s house. No one ever goes in there. There lies the biggest bull you have ever seen. It’s ten times bigger than any other normal bull. I’ve never went in their before; I’m too scared.
“Well done!” says Brendan sarcastically.
Noah has a very bad temper, so I don’t say anything.
Cho runs towards the field. He doesn’t let the bull see him. The wire around the field is electric, so Cho takes the secret entrance. The secret entrance is a hole under the wire, where a small person can fit through. The bull is way too big to go under it! I think Cho’s dog made it.
Cho crawls under the wire very slowly, carefully and quietly. He’s used to doing it and never got shocked before. The ball is far away from the bull, but it could still spot Cho and charge.
Cho creeps towards the ball. He reaches out his hand and…
The bull sees him. His eyes bulge. Cho grabs the ball, dashes towards the fence as fast as he can, jumps, hits the ground and slides under the wire, covered in mud.
“Come and get me now, ugly!” Cho roars. He laughs and kicks the ball to us from where he is. He rushes back to us, sweating.
“Not bad”, I say, impressed.
“Goals”, he tells me.
I run towards the goals and get ready for a bashing. Noah tackles Cho, but Cho simply stands there, acting as if Noah wasn’t there. He whams the ball into the left-corner bar. I jump, wishing not to miss this. I manage to -just about- save it, with the tips of my fingers.
Cho curses, and runs back down the pitch. I smile. It was ages since I’ve saved a goal by Cho. I kick the ball down. Brendan gets it this time. He passes it to Noah. Mikey tries to tackle Noah, but he fails. Brendan and Noah are on the same team. Cho and Mikey on the other, both teams scoring on me.
Noah sprints towards me, sure he’ll get a goal.
“Come on, Tyrant,” I giggle.
Anger sets in his eyes, like fire. Cho tries to tackle Noah, but Noah just jumps over his feet.
I prepare to save this, no matter what it takes. Noah gets ready to kick the ball… I jump left, because that looks like where he’s trying to score. I hit the ground with a thud. Noah hadn’t kicked the ball at all; he was just pretending. He laughs. This time he really kicks it, and I’m too late.
“Woo!” roars Noah, rejoicing.
“Big deal”, I sigh, “A monkey could save that. I was just unlucky”
“Any monkey is better than you” he retorts.
I sigh, not knowing what to say. He is right, though. I kick the ball down the pitch again. Mikey gets it this time. He runs as fast as he can. He avoids Brendan. Noah tackles him and gets the ball, taking a shot and missing.
“I’ll take this corner”, says Mikey. He puts the ball in the corner and takes it. It curls and it hits the crossbar.
“Damn”, he grumbles.
Cho gets the ball this time, but Brendan tries to tackle him, so he kicks it to Mikey. I didn’t suspect this, so I wasn’t ready to save anything. He scores and runs down the pitch with his shirt over his head.
“Good goal” says Cho. Mikey grins.
“You have to pay attention, Sha”, Cho says for about the millionth time today.
It’s now six-three to Cho’s team. Brendan starts to say something, but his phone suddenly starts to ring. He takes it out of his pocket, and flips it up. He rolls his eyes.
“Who is it?” asks Noah, knowing that he won’t tell him.
“…What? Yeah, right! Let me see it first. Will I ask the others to come over or will I save you the embarrassment? Right, I’m coming over.” He hangs up, and puts the phone back into his pocket.
“Who was it?” repeats Noah, impatient.
“Fine. It was Nicole. She…” he stops, wondering what to say next. “She got As in every one of her tests. I don’t believe her, as dumb as she is. But I want to see if she’s telling the truth.”
He starts to leave, but Cho stops him. “C’mon! Don’t go! Just wait ‘til the game’s over!”
Brendan shakes his head. “No. We’d win anyway”, he grins. Noah snorts with disgust.
“Nicole said mom wants me home anyway, before it’s dark.”
Cho sighs. “Fine. But remember to…”
“…Practice, practice, practice!” imitates Brendan. He starts the short walk home. All of are houses are near each other, which is handy. We nearly go over to each other’s houses every day.
“What was all that about?” I ask, confused. Everyone shrugs. It was obvious that he was lying. There’s something fishy going on here…
Cho is playing the other two on his own now. He scores one last goal, and then gives up.
“I win, seven-three”, says Cho, “C’mon let’s go in.”
We all agree with that and go inside to watch TV. We’re all mad about TV. Without it, we’d simple die!
I start to wonder if Brendan was really talking to Nicole. I forget about it, and focus on the programme on TV, Pimp My Ride, my favourite show.
Mrs Addams, Cho’s Mom, comes in and offers us some cranberry juice and sweets. I turn down the cranberry juice; it makes me sick, even if I think about it. That’s the only thing she drinks, I don’t know how she never gets sick of it. But I take the sweets; I can never turn those down!
I always used to call Cho’s family the Addams Family when I was small. Well, they are a family and their surname is Addams!
After Pimp My Ride, Noah and Mikey leave. I decide to go too.
“See you tomorrow”, I say to Cho.
“I’m bringing Noah and Mikey home in my car. I’ll bring you now, too.” says Mrs Addams.
“OK”
I open the front door. It’s freezing. I shiver, breathing into my cupped hands. I hop in Mrs Addams old, rusty car, along with Noah and Mikey.
“It’s freezing!” I say to Mikey and Noah. They nod.
Mrs Addams comes out after five minutes.
“Goodness, it’s chilly out tonight.”
She starts the car. It bangs a few times and then starts. This car is as slow as hell! It seems like an age until we reach Noah’s house. Then we drop off Mikey, and finally me.
“Thanks”, I say to Mrs Addams and get out of the car.
“See you later”, she says, and I close the door.
It’s still freezing. I run to the front door. I turn the handle, but it’s locked. I begin to knock until I see a note, right in front of my nose. I pull it off.
‘We’re just going out for a drink. Dave’s gone with Paula. We’ll be back soon, so don’t stay up too late. And don’t forget to let Ben out for a while.
Mom.’
So Mum, Dad and Dave are out of the house. Excellent! I’ve got the house to myself – for a few hours. Paula is Dave’s girlfriend. She goes out with him every night. She’s always at our house too. Ben is our mad little dog.
I locate the key under the mat. I open the door and enter the house.
It’s even colder in here. My teeth start chattering. I check the radiators. They’re all off, so I switch them on. After ten minutes, it’s still freezing. I feel one of the radiators. It’s piping hot. Weird. I forget about that and go into the kitchen.
Ben is lying on his tiny doggy-bed, beside the back door. It’s in pieces. He loves to chew things. It didn’t take long until his new bed was in bits. He jumps on top of me, nearly knocking me over. I laugh. He usually jumps up on people because he’s excited, but this time it’s not because he’s excited. It’s because he’s afraid.
“What’s wrong?”
He turns to the back door and starts growling.
“Is someone outside?” I say, wondering what’s wrong with him.
He responds by growling even louder. I open the door, look left and right. Nothing. Suddenly, Ben runs off, barking, searching.
He looks in between the trees, under the tables, in the garage. He can’t find whatever he’s looking for. I call him, but he keeps on searching. I stop. I can hear a sound. It’s screechy. That’s what Ben was barking at. I decide to try and help him look for the source of the sound, too.
I look everywhere. In the ditch, under the trees, under the tables, in the garage. No luck.
I go around the back of the garage. The noise gets louder. I keep on walking, the noise getting louder and louder. Then it starts to die away. I must’ve past it out. I step back a bit. This is the loudest it can get, so I must be standing over the thing. I call Ben over. He does what I command. He starts barking and growling frantically. Suddenly, he digs his claws into the ground and starts burying. I just sit down and watch him.
After a minute, there’s a tiny ray of light shining from the earth in the small hole that Ben’s made. I’m puzzled, so I start digging too. I check my watch. 11.20… the noise is getting louder. 11.23… the light is getting brighter. 11.25… the light is getting much brighter and the noise is getting really loud. 11.29… The hole is big enough for me to fit in. I try not to think of Mom and Dad’s faces when they see this hole!
The noise nearly deafens me. It’s sub-zero now. I try to stop my teeth chattering, but it’s no use. I give the ground one last dig.
The thing is revealed. I’m stunned with what I see… some sort of diamond. But no diamond of this world. It’s black, but it still lets off a blinding light. I cover my eyes with my hands and peak through. It’s small and could just about fit in my palm. But should I touch it? I really don’t know what to do. It could be dangerous.
Ben has gone mad barking at it.
“Shut up”, I snap at him. No use.
I look at the diamond again. It must cost a fortune! But since when could you find diamonds in a country like this? I sense evil in it…
I’ve decided what I’m going to do. I’m gonna pick it up. I don’t care what happens. I must pick it up. If I don’t, I’ll die.
I reach my arm towards it… touch it. It starts shining even brighter. The noise stops.
“Phew!” That was easy! No harm done.
The light has stopped. I take the diamond up in my hand and examine it. All of a sudden, it starts screeching much worse than before. It’s even worse than when you scrape your nails on the blackboard. A thousand times worse.
I hold it even tighter, hoping it’ll stop the noise.
A searing pain in every part of my body. Like needles shooting at me from every corner. I try to yell, but I’m too weak to.
I feel a chill run down my spine. I freeze, unable to move. Either the noise of the diamond has stopped or I’ve gone deaf. My eyes are closed. I can’t open them. Either the shine of the diamond or I’m blind. My mouth can’t open. And I can’t breathe through my nose either. So how am I supposed to breathe? Am I going to die?! I knew I shouldn’t have picked up that diamond! I… black out.