27-07-2010, 09:20 PM
28-07-2010, 12:30 PM
Sorry for the long wait. I have been busy with Marching Band and stuff. I am that busy now days. Plus I didnt have a computer for like two weeks.
Flashback Chapter 3-Classmates
I just noticed that I added a lot of comedy in it...and pudding.... Well the ending was a bit unexpected :blink:
Flashback Chapter 3-Classmates
Spoiler:
After the gang members were arrested Ridgeway returned back to it's former self. Well sort of. The students went back to their classes and did their usual routine. Except for the students of class 1-B. They were worried about Blaze and that their new student didn't show up yet.
"What do you think happened to Blaze," asked Hiro. He and Blaze were best friends.
"Maybe the Police took him to the Police station and he is now in jail," suggested a boy in glasses.
"What did you say Reyn," said Maya in a scary voice. She was holding a frying pan for some odd reason.
"I mean that he must be in the health room or something," cried Reyn.
Maya swung the frying pan right into Reyn's face. The class started to laugh at them. The only people not laughing were Hiro, Maya, Reyn, and this pink-haired girl.
"That's enough class," said Mr. Nishimura. "That incident that happened was in the past. We shall now get on with class." He opens a book on his desk. "The origin of pudding was in.."
Mr. Nishimura was interrupted with the door opening. The person that opened the door was none other than Blaze. He had a couple of bandages on his face from the fight.
“Mr. Wittis!” shouted Mr. Nishimura. “Please do not disturb the class while we are learning! Also where did you go?!”
Blaze simply ignored Mr. Nishimura and went to his seat. His classmates were whispering to each other when he was walking.
“Blaze looks all beaten up.” whispered Hiro to Reyn. “He must have been beaten hard by the gang.”
“True,” replied Reyn. "What happened to that other kid that was with him?"
Blaze sat into his seat and looked out the window. He just stared out the window and started to laugh. Blaze got of his seat and opened the window.
"Mr.Wittis!" shouted Mr. Nishimura. "What are you doing now!"
"Introducing the new student," stated Blaze.
The class looks out the window while seating in their seats. They see a teenage boy seating in a tree. He was the same boy from this morning that beat up the gang members with Blaze. He smiled at Blaze and jumped through the window. The class stared at him with amazement.
"And who are you?" asked Mr. Nishimura.
"My name is Soul Stevens," greeted Soul. "And I am the new student everyone has been talking about."
The class was shocked at that statement. They immediately began to gossip about him.
"Isn't that the guy who."
"So it is a guy. DAMN!"
"I heard that he took down Godzilla!"
"He is pretty cute."
"I heard that he has a stash of Pudding in his pants."
"Is that a Brick?"
"School is boring."
"So you are the new student," said a mysterious voice.
The voice came from the door. It was a teenage boy and it looked like he also goes to Ridgeway.
"Hey Jason," greeted Blaze. Blaze pushed Soul in front of Jason. "This Soul. He is the new kid."
"Aren't you the guy who beat up those gang members?" asked Jason. He had a large smirk on his face.
"Why do you need to know?" replied Soul.
"So I can see how strong you are," smirked Jason. Jason put his hands into a fist. He was about to punch Soul, but someone grabbed him. Jason turned around to see who stopped him. "Who would sto... Oh it's you guys."
Jason moved away from the door and two people walked through it. One of them was a girl with blue hair and black clothing. In front of her was a boy with white hair and he had a leash on.
"Who are they?" whispered Soul.
"Those two are from Jason's class," replied Blaze. "They are one grade ahead of us. The girl is Safyria. People say that she can talk to ghost and I believe the rumor. That boy on the leash is Darren. People say that Daren can be a crazed madman and that he has a split personality."
Soul had a weird look on his face, "I just noticed that a lot of people in this school aren't normal."
"So who is this Jason?" asked Safyria. She was pointing straight at Soul.
"This is none other than Soul," smirked Jason while wrapping his arm around Soul's neck. "Soul is the guy who caused the uproar this morning."
"So Fresh blood I see," stated Darren. Darren starts to sniff Soul. "He smells nice!"
"I don't think you should do that," Safyria pulls out a whip and puts it by Darren's face. "If you want to live please stop."
"Gah!" screamed Darren.
Darren ran to Jason and jumped onto his head. Surprisingly Jason didn't fall down from Darren being on top of him. The class started to laugh at them.
"Get off of me Darren!" shouted Jason.
Jason finds a brick on the ground and throws it at Darren's head. Darren loses consciousness and falls down.
"Is that even legal?" said Soul.
"I don't think so," sighed Blaze.
"Well we should get going," insisted Jason. "Teach is going to wonder where the three of us went."
"I think that is a good idea," agreed Safyria. She then pulled Darren's leash. "Come on mutt we are leaving!"
"Fine then," sighed Darren. Before exiting the door he saw a student with pudding. Darren took the pudding from the boy's hand and ran away. "Pudding!"
The door shut as the three of them left. After they left the class became silent for a while. Soul and Blaze eventually went to their seats. Soul sat in between a pink-haired girl and Maya.
This school is pretty weird. thought Soul. He looked at the two girls around him and then smiled. At least they got some cute girls.
The pink-haired girl glared at Soul with a deadly stare.
Soul's heart skipped a beat after the girl's stare. I am too young to die! She must have saw my smile. Curse my good looks!
"Hey Rose," said Maya in a quiet voice. It looked like she was talking to the pink-haired girl. "Want to eat lunch on the roof after?"
So her name is Rose. thought Soul while chewing on his pencil. That's a cute name. Soul smiled again.
Then an eraser was thrown at Soul's. His nose started to bleed because of the impact. He turned to where the eraser was thrown and he saw Rose laughing.
"That's what you get for thinking about me," laughed Rose. "Your nose is bleeding!" She laughed even harder.
Soul started to get angry with Rose. His eyes had flames in them and his nostrils started to flare. He turned towards Rose with a grin on his face.
"R-R-Rose," stuttered Maya. "Watch out!"
Rose turned to see Soul come at her, but it was too late. Soul got to here before she could react. Soul was....tickling her. He tickled her in the spot where her weakness was.
"Top!" laughed Rose. "I m rely tiklsh ther."
Rose was laughing so much that her whole face turned a mysterious shade of red. Soul stopped tickling her after he saw her face turn that shade. Rose's face was still red, but it wasn't that mysterious shade anymore. She then let down a tear from her right eye to her chin.
"That was embarrassing," cried Rose. "Please don't do that again."
Soul turned his head a little and saw the class staring at him. The class(Mostly the boys) had a mean look on their face.
"Soul!"
"How could you embarrass a girl?!"
"Must kill Soul!"
"The Rose Fan club shall kill you!"
After 50 death threats(3 from Mr. Nishimura) the class finally settled down. Soul was pissed that the entire class hated him now. He turned to look at Rose to see if she was okay. She was definitely okay,maybe a little too okay. She had a giant grin on her face that looked like she accomplished something.
"This is payback Soul," snickered Rose. "I am going to make this week a living Hell for you!"
"Yea right!" shouted Soul.
Was Soul wrong. That week pranks and jokes were being pulled on Soul. Water buckets would fall on him, birds would attack him, little kids would throw half-eaten pudding at him, etc. Soul's week was definitely a living hell. Once Friday arrived Soul was relieved.
"Only 10 more minutes and I am free!" screamed Soul.
"I still can't believe all that stuff happened to you," sighed Blaze.
"How did she get a ninja to give you wedgie?" asked Hiro.
"I don't want to know," replied Soul. "My butt definitely doesn't want to know."
The three of them laughed at Soul's comment. Soul then turned his attention to Rose. He was staring at her for a while.
I wonder why no pranks have been pulled on me thought Soul. It seems like she enjoys doing stuff to me.
"Hey Soul what you staring at?" asked Reyn. He looked at the direction Soul was staring at. "So you're staring at Rose. Interesting."
"I didn't know Soul thought Rose in that way," stated Hiro.
"Well he is coming to that age," sighed Blaze.
"Wait what!" screamed Soul. "I do not like her! I don't think of her that way. I am older than you Blaze so don't talk like that. And I wasn't staring at Rose!"
After Soul screamed Rose's name the whole class was staring at him. He knew that he shouldn't screamed that. He turned around to see Rose with a blushed face. Soon the bell rang and everyone left the classroom. Rose ran straight out the door when the bell rang.
What have I done? thought Soul. "Rose!" He ran out the door and chased out the door.
"Something really dramatic might occur," stated Hiro.
"Who are you talking to Hiro?" asked Reyn.
"The Fourt...I mean you guys," replied Hiro.
"I bet they are going to kiss," suggested Blaze.
"Same here," agreed Hiro and Reyn.
Soul was right behind Rose chasing her. They were currently in the abandoned section of the school. Soul reached out his hand and grabbed Rose's arm. He stopped her from running. He pinned her against the wall to make sure she doesn't run.
"Why did you run away like that?" asked Soul.
Rose just stared at Soul with a blushing face.
"Why did you pull the pranks on me?"
Rose just remained silent and stared at Soul.
"And why did you not pu.."
Soul was about to continue, but he was interrupted by Rose. Rose did something that Soul would never have guessed would happen to him. Rose kissed Soul directly on the lips. Soul just stared at Rose when she was kissing him. He didn't know what to do. It was his first. His first kiss. Rose then removed her lips from Soul's. Soul was still confused as a Caterpie in a stack of hay.
"What was that?" asked Soul
"You're a real idiot you know that," stated Rose with a blushed face. "It means I like you."
"What do you think happened to Blaze," asked Hiro. He and Blaze were best friends.
"Maybe the Police took him to the Police station and he is now in jail," suggested a boy in glasses.
"What did you say Reyn," said Maya in a scary voice. She was holding a frying pan for some odd reason.
"I mean that he must be in the health room or something," cried Reyn.
Maya swung the frying pan right into Reyn's face. The class started to laugh at them. The only people not laughing were Hiro, Maya, Reyn, and this pink-haired girl.
"That's enough class," said Mr. Nishimura. "That incident that happened was in the past. We shall now get on with class." He opens a book on his desk. "The origin of pudding was in.."
Mr. Nishimura was interrupted with the door opening. The person that opened the door was none other than Blaze. He had a couple of bandages on his face from the fight.
“Mr. Wittis!” shouted Mr. Nishimura. “Please do not disturb the class while we are learning! Also where did you go?!”
Blaze simply ignored Mr. Nishimura and went to his seat. His classmates were whispering to each other when he was walking.
“Blaze looks all beaten up.” whispered Hiro to Reyn. “He must have been beaten hard by the gang.”
“True,” replied Reyn. "What happened to that other kid that was with him?"
Blaze sat into his seat and looked out the window. He just stared out the window and started to laugh. Blaze got of his seat and opened the window.
"Mr.Wittis!" shouted Mr. Nishimura. "What are you doing now!"
"Introducing the new student," stated Blaze.
The class looks out the window while seating in their seats. They see a teenage boy seating in a tree. He was the same boy from this morning that beat up the gang members with Blaze. He smiled at Blaze and jumped through the window. The class stared at him with amazement.
"And who are you?" asked Mr. Nishimura.
"My name is Soul Stevens," greeted Soul. "And I am the new student everyone has been talking about."
The class was shocked at that statement. They immediately began to gossip about him.
"Isn't that the guy who."
"So it is a guy. DAMN!"
"I heard that he took down Godzilla!"
"He is pretty cute."
"I heard that he has a stash of Pudding in his pants."
"Is that a Brick?"
"School is boring."
"So you are the new student," said a mysterious voice.
The voice came from the door. It was a teenage boy and it looked like he also goes to Ridgeway.
"Hey Jason," greeted Blaze. Blaze pushed Soul in front of Jason. "This Soul. He is the new kid."
"Aren't you the guy who beat up those gang members?" asked Jason. He had a large smirk on his face.
"Why do you need to know?" replied Soul.
"So I can see how strong you are," smirked Jason. Jason put his hands into a fist. He was about to punch Soul, but someone grabbed him. Jason turned around to see who stopped him. "Who would sto... Oh it's you guys."
Jason moved away from the door and two people walked through it. One of them was a girl with blue hair and black clothing. In front of her was a boy with white hair and he had a leash on.
"Who are they?" whispered Soul.
"Those two are from Jason's class," replied Blaze. "They are one grade ahead of us. The girl is Safyria. People say that she can talk to ghost and I believe the rumor. That boy on the leash is Darren. People say that Daren can be a crazed madman and that he has a split personality."
Soul had a weird look on his face, "I just noticed that a lot of people in this school aren't normal."
"So who is this Jason?" asked Safyria. She was pointing straight at Soul.
"This is none other than Soul," smirked Jason while wrapping his arm around Soul's neck. "Soul is the guy who caused the uproar this morning."
"So Fresh blood I see," stated Darren. Darren starts to sniff Soul. "He smells nice!"
"I don't think you should do that," Safyria pulls out a whip and puts it by Darren's face. "If you want to live please stop."
"Gah!" screamed Darren.
Darren ran to Jason and jumped onto his head. Surprisingly Jason didn't fall down from Darren being on top of him. The class started to laugh at them.
"Get off of me Darren!" shouted Jason.
Jason finds a brick on the ground and throws it at Darren's head. Darren loses consciousness and falls down.
"Is that even legal?" said Soul.
"I don't think so," sighed Blaze.
"Well we should get going," insisted Jason. "Teach is going to wonder where the three of us went."
"I think that is a good idea," agreed Safyria. She then pulled Darren's leash. "Come on mutt we are leaving!"
"Fine then," sighed Darren. Before exiting the door he saw a student with pudding. Darren took the pudding from the boy's hand and ran away. "Pudding!"
The door shut as the three of them left. After they left the class became silent for a while. Soul and Blaze eventually went to their seats. Soul sat in between a pink-haired girl and Maya.
This school is pretty weird. thought Soul. He looked at the two girls around him and then smiled. At least they got some cute girls.
The pink-haired girl glared at Soul with a deadly stare.
Soul's heart skipped a beat after the girl's stare. I am too young to die! She must have saw my smile. Curse my good looks!
"Hey Rose," said Maya in a quiet voice. It looked like she was talking to the pink-haired girl. "Want to eat lunch on the roof after?"
So her name is Rose. thought Soul while chewing on his pencil. That's a cute name. Soul smiled again.
Then an eraser was thrown at Soul's. His nose started to bleed because of the impact. He turned to where the eraser was thrown and he saw Rose laughing.
"That's what you get for thinking about me," laughed Rose. "Your nose is bleeding!" She laughed even harder.
Soul started to get angry with Rose. His eyes had flames in them and his nostrils started to flare. He turned towards Rose with a grin on his face.
"R-R-Rose," stuttered Maya. "Watch out!"
Rose turned to see Soul come at her, but it was too late. Soul got to here before she could react. Soul was....tickling her. He tickled her in the spot where her weakness was.
"Top!" laughed Rose. "I m rely tiklsh ther."
Rose was laughing so much that her whole face turned a mysterious shade of red. Soul stopped tickling her after he saw her face turn that shade. Rose's face was still red, but it wasn't that mysterious shade anymore. She then let down a tear from her right eye to her chin.
"That was embarrassing," cried Rose. "Please don't do that again."
Soul turned his head a little and saw the class staring at him. The class(Mostly the boys) had a mean look on their face.
"Soul!"
"How could you embarrass a girl?!"
"Must kill Soul!"
"The Rose Fan club shall kill you!"
After 50 death threats(3 from Mr. Nishimura) the class finally settled down. Soul was pissed that the entire class hated him now. He turned to look at Rose to see if she was okay. She was definitely okay,maybe a little too okay. She had a giant grin on her face that looked like she accomplished something.
"This is payback Soul," snickered Rose. "I am going to make this week a living Hell for you!"
"Yea right!" shouted Soul.
Was Soul wrong. That week pranks and jokes were being pulled on Soul. Water buckets would fall on him, birds would attack him, little kids would throw half-eaten pudding at him, etc. Soul's week was definitely a living hell. Once Friday arrived Soul was relieved.
"Only 10 more minutes and I am free!" screamed Soul.
"I still can't believe all that stuff happened to you," sighed Blaze.
"How did she get a ninja to give you wedgie?" asked Hiro.
"I don't want to know," replied Soul. "My butt definitely doesn't want to know."
The three of them laughed at Soul's comment. Soul then turned his attention to Rose. He was staring at her for a while.
I wonder why no pranks have been pulled on me thought Soul. It seems like she enjoys doing stuff to me.
"Hey Soul what you staring at?" asked Reyn. He looked at the direction Soul was staring at. "So you're staring at Rose. Interesting."
"I didn't know Soul thought Rose in that way," stated Hiro.
"Well he is coming to that age," sighed Blaze.
"Wait what!" screamed Soul. "I do not like her! I don't think of her that way. I am older than you Blaze so don't talk like that. And I wasn't staring at Rose!"
After Soul screamed Rose's name the whole class was staring at him. He knew that he shouldn't screamed that. He turned around to see Rose with a blushed face. Soon the bell rang and everyone left the classroom. Rose ran straight out the door when the bell rang.
What have I done? thought Soul. "Rose!" He ran out the door and chased out the door.
"Something really dramatic might occur," stated Hiro.
"Who are you talking to Hiro?" asked Reyn.
"The Fourt...I mean you guys," replied Hiro.
"I bet they are going to kiss," suggested Blaze.
"Same here," agreed Hiro and Reyn.
Soul was right behind Rose chasing her. They were currently in the abandoned section of the school. Soul reached out his hand and grabbed Rose's arm. He stopped her from running. He pinned her against the wall to make sure she doesn't run.
"Why did you run away like that?" asked Soul.
Rose just stared at Soul with a blushing face.
"Why did you pull the pranks on me?"
Rose just remained silent and stared at Soul.
"And why did you not pu.."
Soul was about to continue, but he was interrupted by Rose. Rose did something that Soul would never have guessed would happen to him. Rose kissed Soul directly on the lips. Soul just stared at Rose when she was kissing him. He didn't know what to do. It was his first. His first kiss. Rose then removed her lips from Soul's. Soul was still confused as a Caterpie in a stack of hay.
"What was that?" asked Soul
"You're a real idiot you know that," stated Rose with a blushed face. "It means I like you."
I just noticed that I added a lot of comedy in it...and pudding.... Well the ending was a bit unexpected :blink:
28-07-2010, 03:11 PM
Good good. Great job and all that... write the next chapter... blah blah blah my usual stuff.
Anyways, good job. It was kinda confusing at parts of it... but whatever...
(edit) T.T Even here I say anyways... I'm at 99 posts. O_O
Anyways, good job. It was kinda confusing at parts of it... but whatever...
(edit) T.T Even here I say anyways... I'm at 99 posts. O_O
28-07-2010, 05:29 PM
"Isn't that the guy who."
"So it is a guy. DAMN!"
"I heard that he took down Godzilla!"
"He is pretty cute."
"I heard that he has a stash of Pudding in his pants."
"Is that a Brick?"
"School is boring."
Epic.
Love the chapter, can't wait for the next, and I see one of my characters makes her debut. ;) Even though she's not on the first page.
"So it is a guy. DAMN!"
"I heard that he took down Godzilla!"
"He is pretty cute."
"I heard that he has a stash of Pudding in his pants."
"Is that a Brick?"
"School is boring."
Epic.
Love the chapter, can't wait for the next, and I see one of my characters makes her debut. ;) Even though she's not on the first page.
28-07-2010, 07:43 PM
^^I am sorry Kuda. I forgot about the appearance thing on the first page I will add them.
28-07-2010, 09:45 PM
nice job TheFallenOne. cant wait for the next chapter.
28-07-2010, 09:58 PM
UPDATE
I am going to hold a contest for a new banner for The Game. I will make the thread later on todayin the art gallery section.
I am going to hold a contest for a new banner for The Game. I will make the thread later on todayin the art gallery section.
01-08-2010, 10:12 PM
No one entered the contest.... I am sad now..
Well I am working on another chapter and it will probably be up in a couple hours.
SPOILER!
Well I am working on another chapter and it will probably be up in a couple hours.
SPOILER!
Spoiler:
Safyria and Jason are actually twins 0___o
And as you can see Darren is her slave..pet...thing.
And I have a special secret announcement that I shall only tell a selected few.
And as you can see Darren is her slave..pet...thing.
And I have a special secret announcement that I shall only tell a selected few.
02-08-2010, 05:22 PM
Ooh, special secret announcement. :P
Looking forward to the new chapter, and the spoiler is a nice plot twist, though I already knew. (Of course)
Looking forward to the new chapter, and the spoiler is a nice plot twist, though I already knew. (Of course)
02-08-2010, 05:24 PM
First off, its a great concept you have here. The characters are somewhat developed, and the humour is pretty sweet. However, your writing style resembles that of a wall of text, and you don't use enough adjectives or adverbs. Its a good fic you have here, but you can improve a lot.