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Full Version: Chapter 3: Silk Scarves
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This was originally going to be a manga, but I don't have the time to do that at the moment. So here it is as a story.

Warning the whole story contains violence and adult themes, please do not read if you are easily offended.

Prologue P1
Spoiler:
Thunder. Thunder roared and lightning tore through the blackness of the night sky. It was a frightening night, nobody dared to leave their homes. At times like this families stayed inside, huddled around the warmth of the fire. Everyone was waiting for this brutal attack to end. Everyone except one man.

A shaded figure creeped through the alleys and passages, nobody would see him with the natural cover he was provided with. The man was very tall, he must have been bordering seven foot if not taller, but even with his size he still managed to duck and swerve swiftly around obstacles without a sound.

The man stopped next to a tall wooden fence which was situated around the local research center, it was rumoured that rare pokemon were being kept inside, pokemon so rare that only a handful of humans knew of their existance.

There was a flash of white light.

There was now another stood next to the man. But it wasn't human, it had almost bug-like qualities. This was a slim creature with large wings and long slender arms, but without hands, it instead had long, sharp, deadly scythes that lit up when lightening struck. This was definately a pokemon, but a pokemon like no other, a pokemon with a desire for power and a lust for blood. It was pure evil. The man muttered something to the monster and immediately it hopped over the fence and was crouched on the roof of the research center within the blink of an eye. The roof tiles were wet and slippery, but this creature had an extraordinary sense of balance, not slipping or tripping once even at the immense speed it moved. Then the monster disappeared, almost like it had dropped through a hole in the research center, almost like it was breaking in.

The bug-like monster had indeed broken into the research center and upon entering, it was faced with two men dressed in a blue uniform that carried automatic rifles. Without warning and without being provoked the creature impaled one of the men with its scythe, it left it within the man while he slashed at the other cutting a large gash accross his chest. After, the bug removed its scythe from the man's body and licked the blood tenderly, this creature was a savage. It stood there, without a care, licking its scythes while one of the men still gasps for air, coughing up his own blood and flooding the floor with fluid from the gash in his chest. But the creature just watched, torturing the man, he would die eventually...

C+C appreciated, I have the story pretty much mapped out but I would still like feedback. Thanks.
Woot! violent pokemon story, I already like it. not much to critique yet, but now I will be eagerly awaiting the next chapter. (am i right to assume that the "rare pokemon" are the region's starter?, or something like that? or are you throwing a curveball to the readers?)
Thanks for that Doc ;) Anyway I'm sure your question will be answered now. Here is part 2 of the prologue!

Spoiler:
The interior of the research facility was pure, glossy white. The ceilings, the floors, the walls were just white. There were no windows, just the space age hanging lights that were fixed into place on the blinding ceiling. But of course, now the floors were stained blood red and the walls had two new decorations pinned so beautifully against them.

The bug practically warped down the facility corridors, invisible to the naked eye, so every time it encountered a pair of guards it tore them limb from limb and painted the walls with their blood, not only was this creature here to steal, it was here to deliver a message.

But when the creature had finally found the door it was looking for it just stood incredibly still, it almost looked like a statue. The door was incredibly large and it was also a pure, glossy white. However this beast didn't think, it wasn't logical, it worked on instinct, like an animal. It simply attacked the door, stabbing it, slashing it, trying to rip it apart.

On the other side of the door, women and men in white coats were huddled around a large glass chamber, they were in awe of what was being contained within, so infatuated with this chamber that hey hadn't noticed that the bug had just broken into the very room in which they were standing. The creature, again, stood remarkably still. It listened to the rain as it hammered against the roof of the research facility. And then the night let out a bellowing roar, thunder rolled loudly and fiercely. At this tremendous sound the bug elongated its scythes and rushed to the crowd of researchers, chemists and biologists. It slashed at the humans wildy and frantically, tearing off limbs, impaling heads and torsos, cutting accross any part of the body its scythes kissed.

It was a massacre. The humans hadn't put up a fight, they had just lined up to be slaughtered, one by one by this beast of a creature. This room was no longer a pure, glossy white. It was now a deathly, thick red, no corner of the room was left without human blood. Limbs, torsos, bodies and even a few organs were scattered accross the floor, it was a scene that would scar a man mentally. But not a monster.

With one last slash, the monster cut open the chamber. Green fluid flooded out, mixing with the remains of the extermination. And within the chamber lay something peculiar, a child, but it was no ordinary child.

The rumours were true... to an extent. There was a rare, unheard of pokemon within that facility, except it wasn't a pokemon. Well, not a complete pokemon anyway...
The Bug Pokemon sounds like a Scyther to me.

Anyway, following this, sounds really cool so far. :D
Wow, gory detail, i like it, good job. ooh, now i want MOAR. you give just enough to satisfy but not too much to lose peoples interest. keep up the good work.
Nice to know I have two readers.

Kudamon, you sir must be Sherlock Holmes.

Thanks for the positive feedback guys, the first chapter should be up either by the end of tomorrow or Friday.
Sorry for the double post but...

Chapter 1 is here. This introduces the protaganist and 2 other characters, while also laying the foundations for obvious character development.

Spoiler:
"Excellent Kisuke!" praised an old man holding a staff. The old man was relatively short and wore a white shirt complete with a long red skirt. The typical old wise, crazy, mentor guy. Kisuke was fighting a friend of his, Ren. Kisuke wasn't very tall either, he had a medium build and wavy red hair. Ren on the other hand was very tall, very stocky and had his hair styled with blonde highlighted spikes (his natural hair colour being a deep black). The arena in which the two were brawling was an open plane in the atop a steep hill. There wasn't much to this hill, a few rocky outcrops and the odd sprinkling of moss, it wasn't very impressive but it made for a good fighting ground.

The two friends had been fighting for about 10 minutes, no serious injuries had been sustained really. Kisuke had cut his arm on a rock, but it wasn't fatal. Ren had always been the better fighter, it's why they didn't argue a lot. The reason they were fighting now was because Kisuke's Grandfather wanted him to prove that he was a man. Kisuke fired punches wildy at Ren who ducked and swerved around them, Rin kept on his toes and only ever attacked when he was counter attacking Kisuke. Kisuke clasped both hands together to make a fist and jumped at Ren in attempt to seriously injure him, but Ren blocked the attack with one hand and punched Kisuke in the chest. The impact from the punch knocked Kisuke down and into one of the rocky outcrops.
"I think that's enough for today" Kisuke struggled to say as he fought with his lungs to breathe. He was trying to sit up against the rock to make it easier and slightly more comfortable, but he was lacking strength.
"Ok-" Ren was interrupted.
"Up son! You will never survive in this world if you are not a man, you must prove yourself to me or you will disgrace yourself and your family." His Grandfather really was strict about this sort of thing, he wasn't going to let Kisuke just give up after one punch he wasn't even bleeding.
"Grandfather... Please..."
"You are weak Kisuke, you are a woman! If you quit now you will work in the kitchens until you redeem yourself!"
"Haha, now come on old man, you did make him fight me. It wasn't exactly fair if I'm honest." Ren arrogantly inputted, being a friend to Kisuke but boosting his ego at the same time, "Give him a rest okay? I don't want to break my friend now do I?"
Kisuke's grandfather descended down the hill without a word, he was obviously disappointed with his grandson. Ren stood tall while Kisuke slumped against the rock holding his chest, they watched as the old man walked away. When he was out of sight Kisuke just looked forward and put his head in his hands. Ren didn't want to say anything so he left Kisuke to himself, he would probably only make matters worse and besides he had to go prepare something to make it up yo Kisuke.

An infinte amount of thoughts invaded Kisuke's head, Why, help, please were among thousands of worries and pleas. He knew his grandfather was serious and he didn't really want to let him down. But then it happened. He heard a muffling, almost whining noise coming from under the rock he was resting against. Suddenly the rock cracked and then split cleanly in too. Kisuke must have jumped back 10 feet in surprise and fear, what just happened? He slowly walked towards where he was slouched, limping and still holding his chest. He couldn't see a thing, it just looked like the rock had spontaneously split.

Then a purple hand emerged from underneath the rock and grasped the top of it firmly.
first: i don't remember u posting a chapter 1, just 2 prologue parts and now chapter 2...
second: good addition to the story, next chapter will be interesting with the "purple hand" thing.
Ah crap, it's been editted to Chapter 1 now :P.

And thanks for that. Chapter 2 will be up tomorrow.
Okay here is the real chapter 2.

Spoiler:
Kisuke was literally enchanted by what would appear from the rubble. A human? An animal? A pokemon? He was scared out of his mind but curiosity walked him ever so closer. Another hand sprung out and grabbed tightly on the rock, a right and a left grey pair of hands were now firmly grabbing the cleanly halved rock. Kisuke stopped when he registered this, he was slightly trembling and the pain in his chest and leg was becoming a bit more intense. His Grandfather was right, he really wasn't a man.

The two arms then tensed, as if someone was trying to pull themselves up. Whinces and groans came from under the rock. What if it's a person in trouble under there? What if they've been trapped? What if... what if it's a hot damsel in distress who needs a prince to rescue her? And on that thought Kisuke dashed to the rock and immediately looked at his trapped damsel. It was a pokemon. Kisuke's heart sunk as he gazed with disappoint down at an ugly grey pokemon, it had human features, but it was most definately a pokemon. Either way he had to help the poor thing, it looked beat up and seriously injured. Kisuke offered his hand to the pokemon, who then removed his grasp from the rock and took Kisuke's hand. He summoned strength he had no idea he had and with much pain he finally pulled the pokemon up. Kisuke and the pokemon lay atop the hill, side by side gasping for breath, staring blankly at the clear blue sky. He didn't know what pokemon he was laying next to, they had been hunted almost to extinction in his country and no real record of them was kept.

The grey, humanoid pokemon slowly began to sit up. It still whinced in pain and groaned holding its back with its right hand while pushing against the ground with its left.
"What... what ah-are you?" Kisuke asked between heavy breaths, some fear finding its way into the back of his throat.
The pokemon turned his head slightly to look at Kisuke. It was like this creature could sense his fear, so all it did was smile. Kisuke leaned up so he was resting on his elbows.
"So you can't speak?"
The pokemon just smiled again.
"That's not helping, at least nod or shake your head. Your smile makes me feel nervous."
The pokemon opened its mouth slightly and Kisuke leaned further forward, keen to listen to what it may have to say. The creature's cheeks raised and it's eyes widened... then it just pulled a larger smile before, showcasing its lack of teeth.
"You seem a bit... special, pokemon. But I had better get going, I have to, er, clean the dishes." The words still had a hint of fear, but they were more relaxed than before and Kisuke managed to show the pokemon a small smile before attempting to get up.
"Hyu!"
Kisuke's head turned in terror, That thing, it said something! It's threatening me. I know it. Help. Help. Help
"Heh, hehh. You said something." Pointing out the obvious to try and break the tension he felt, "But those clothes won't wash themselves, I have to go grey man."
"HYU! HYA HYU!"
Aww crap. I am going to die. This is where I wish I had actually practiced fighting instead of bunking off to find my woman.

"Hyu.. Fi-hyu, myu"

Kisuke turned his whole body to face the pokemon, asking as he turned if that pokemon had just tried to speak english. His heart was pounding against his chest, pummelling his rib cage. His brow glistened as sweat ran down it and then accross his cheek and his knees trembled and he tried to fight them from buckling.

"Hyu, Fit-hyu."

He was sure this pokemon was trying to speak english to him, it almost sounded like he was... asking for a fight. Kisuke thought of it that way anyway, which frightened him to the core, he couldn't fight that thing. He just stared at the pokemon's toned muscles, that pokemon would surely kill him, the only story he heard of pokemon was of how savage they were when fighting, thus why there were hunted.

The pokemon became frustrated, tired of waiting. So it glared at Kisuke. Moved it's feet into a fighting stance and raised its arms.

I'm not sure on this chapter. And yes the colour of the thing did change, mainly because I got the colour wrong in the last chapter. Woops.
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